Sometimes we lose ourselves, especially when we get caught up in our busy routines. Sometimes the biggest issue for us is trying to find ourselves or the way back to being ourselves. There are many steps we must take to re-find ourselves. We need to recognize that we are lost and start from the beginning. It will need to reflect on our life and sometimes we need to lose it all to start over. This is never easy no matter how we look at it or try. We will always struggle when we rediscover ourselves. Have you ever lost yourself?
Identifying and realizing we are lost.
We often put someone else’s needs over our own throughout life. As life happens, we drift farther and farther from ourselves. This happens to everyone. We try to put spouses or significant others first, and we always try to put our kids first. Sometimes we even put our parents or grandparents first, especially as they get older. It’s not a horrible thing that we lose ourselves, but it defiantly happens. The worst thing is when we do not realize that this is happening or happened. Usually something will make us realize that we never get to be ourselves and it’s at that point we realize it. Sometimes it’s a death in the family or someone that was close to us that will make us realize this. Do you feel like you don’t do the things you like or want?
A new start.
Most of the time for us to rediscover ourselves we need to have a new start, or a major change needs to happen. This is why some marriages end in divorce or couples will separate. Once we eliminate everything that holds us back or ties us down, we can start to analyze our life. The best way for us to analyze the things we like, or dislike is creating a list of things you liked or disliked in the past year or two. Have you ever had something, or someone held you back in life?
Living for me.
When we know what we want in life we need to start living for ourselves. We need to put us first and do the things we want to do. This is why when you break up or separate after a long-term relationship it’s best not to get involved with anyone right away. Not only could it be a rebound or lust, but we need to do what is right for us. The best way to be you is to isolate yourself from everyone for a short period of time. When you can make yourself happy without others around, you will be able to make someone else happy by being you. We should never change because of one person unless it’s for the better. For example, the only time we should change for someone is if it will improve ourselves or our health, otherwise be you. If they do not like you for who you are then you do not need them in your life. If someone asked you to change who you were, would you?
How I rediscovered myself.
When I was married to my ex-wife, I never realized how far I drifted from being myself. It wasn’t until she wanted to do her own thing one day and took everything. Honestly it sucked going through but looking back it was the best thing for me. I never realized how much we spent with her family, yet I was lucky to see my family once or twice a year. Today that still is our joke – like whoa, saw you twice in a month, met my quota for the year. After our separation I was able to do things that I enjoyed in life like running, helping others (donating time and/or money), and watching movies I like. We get so caught up in life we lose ourselves. Now I know what I want in life, and I will not let any of that go. I don’t mind compromising here and there. For example, tonight we will watch a movie you like but tomorrow I get to choose a movie I like. In life you must put yourself first sometimes or make time for yourself. Same goes if you have a significant other or someone in your life. Everything must be 50/50 and it’s a give and take kind of thing. Just don’t get caught up in giving up too much.
Have you ever had to rediscover who you are and what you like or dislike in life?
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